I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize