So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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