Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Randomize
