next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
