Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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