physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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