guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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