We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
