I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
