Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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