i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
