Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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