Walk of Shame. In a state park.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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