I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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