just come out here and I will go home with you...
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
