Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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