why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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