would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
