I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
