I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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