he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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