When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
