He is an equal opportunity slut.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
