i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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