Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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