I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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