I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Bring me that man meat
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
