i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
