I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
