there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
So here I am, sexting at work.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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