Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He shit in the fireplace
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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