Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
