Do you still have your period?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
