I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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