Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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