so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
