Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
