he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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