Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
