Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
NoShamevember. You game?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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