i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
