im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I need to stop coming to work sober
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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