I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
My feet surprised me
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
