Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
