At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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