i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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