what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
