so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
