My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
