i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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