i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
