idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I've blown a few things in my day
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
accomplished twins. life is a go
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
