OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
