Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
