I bet he comes in French.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
