Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
