so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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