how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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