Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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