We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
