There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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