I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
