she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
